It's about time I...

Abandon Ship!

(but first this. Fast track to 4:34.)

produced, edited, shot of and by... kevin porter.

kevin porter's austin line is up on the orchid site. i love kevin's riding style and i love the city he rides in (empire warehouse!) but the best part about this video is the fact that i can't count how many people would pay money to film for kevin but he decides to shoot his shit himself.

bruce crisman! where's your hair?

Oh pumpkin pants.

I should be shopping for a costume right now.
BUT!

Throw Me The Statue just released a video for the song "Lolita", aka the most infectious and charming indie song I've heard in days. The video reaffirms how much I like this one-man "group" despite the fact that I totally don't understand the ending of this story. But I do understand that cute dresses and exploding cakes are amazing.

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

This is how it's done..

Soon, when I work out the heel-to-toe, my moves will be comparable. Fo sho!



[ COMING SOON: A black-metal variation by Andrew S. ]

You and me? Not Lykke Li.

Lykke Li is everything I could ask for right now. Delicious Swedish pop blessed by a girl's cute accent and really fun Feist-esque piano rhythms. "I'm Good, I'm Gone" is perfect for walking quickly and solidly down the street and making your heels pound out the beat along with the you. "Dance Dance Dance" is fucking sweet, catchy and charming. "My hips they lie because in reality I'm shy shy shy". Simply delectable pop.

>>I'm Good I'm Gone
>>Dance Dance Dance
>>space
>>Video for "I'm Good I'm Gone"

the noise made by people

It's pretty apparent to most folks right now that there's a lot of experiments happening on the noise terrain. Most artists use layers that are so distortion-laden that they're deemed unlistenable by the majority. The popularized groups & their indie rock run-off also tends to lessen the credibility of the genre in the eyes of critics and mainstream audiences.

However, those who prefer their dissonance shaken, not watered down, need not worry about the approval of the upper crust. This means us. Me, you and anyone with a patient ear who can appreciate the unexpected headway being made by the "free-form" sounds of the outsider. Those who are often satisfied looking like this..


The static right now,

the dreamy :

Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love For Planet Earth




the raw :
Prurient - Live in Detroit 2003



the legendary :
Boredoms - Live @ ATP 2005


& the damn good :
Black Dice - Cone Toaster

Hellicockter

A recent press conference for chess champion Gary Kasparov* was interrupted by a very special vehicle: A hellicockter. A remote controlled helicopter shaped like a penis suddenly flew in front of cameras, only to be swatted at and stomped on by some very specialized security personal. See the above video and scroll to the 20 second mark.

This is pretty much the best prank I've ever seen, and could only get better if it suddenly became a phenomenon and all sorts of genitalia vehicles started showing up at press conferences and public events. Perhaps the Obama campaign trail could be followed by the Hellicockter? Genius in my opinion.


*I did a google image search of this guy and it's kind of humorous how many variations of this pose he has.

not for those with weak stomachs

whatthehell?

Please don't tell me to do the maths

1. You loved Jock Jams.
2. You loved Star Wars kid.
3. You love this:




("Please Don't Tell Me to Do the Maths" by Los Campesinos!)

welcome to the summer of skills

Vonnegut probably said it best in the closing lines of Breakfast of Champions, "make me young! make me young!" That being said, out of all the films being released this summer, Son Of Rambow seems to be the one most worthy of hyperactive anticipation. If you haven't realized already...

Here's a taste of two others that are either so absurd (for the mere fact that the project was even accepted into production) or have the potential to be something inescapably sweet, despite the bizarre concept. Still, it goes without saying, they MUST be seen.



Skills Like This
[Clutch usage of The Wedding Present!]


Mister Lonely

new dark night trailer

"Until then, read the Sears & Roebeck catalog"

Apparently PFoH doesn't like music anymore. But what we do like are serial killers, and letters from children, and letters from serial killers. Creepy? Oh my god satisfyingly so.

A man named Bill Geerhart apparently posed as a 10-year-old boy in the 90s and sent letters to a large range of sensation "celebrities" including Charles Manson, The Unabomber, Larry Flynt, and even Miss Oprah Winfrey. (Larry Flynt provided the best quote: when asked if Billy should wait until he's 18 to order Hustler, Flynt responds to "Read the Sears & Roebeck catalog" until he turns 18.)

These letter are highly entertaining, and a great reason to buy Radar mag this month. Fortunately, you can get a few of the letters online. Worthwhile: Charles Manson (is frighteningly crazy even in print).


Click here to check them out.

i actually really like this song.

Since we are on the subject of Garfield...

There may be nothing funnier to me right now than Lasagna Cat. If you ever thought John was always portrayed in the comic strip as some white dude with a styrofoam afro, imagine him dancing to Tom Jones in front of a green screen. A new brand of unbridled genius, really!

for example:

John's self-prescribed mantras

There may be nothing funnier to me right now than Garfield Minus Garfield. If you ever thought John was always portrayed in the comic strip as a hopelessly neurotic loner, imagine him talking to himself the entire time. A new brand of unbridled genius, really!

for example:

Bringing new meaning to the term "newsworthy"

For some time it's been common knowledge that headline goof-ups, particularly CNN's, are highly entertaining, often misleading, and sometimes offensive. So what? I've read a few, thought they were funny, and moved on. Well now a whole blog has been created to illustrate the ridiculous scenarios that CNN finds newsworthy. The blog is eloquently titled CNN is like the worst news source. Ever. and everyday the blogger lists some ridiculous headlines and then chooses to draw a picture for one of them. Here are some of my favorites (click images for larger size):

"Pit bulls kill cancer boy's miniature horse"



"Man wears skirt to mow lawn, breaks law"



"Principal had teens, porn, pot, cops say"



And remember to check out the full blog for more fun with news. I also watched a few of these videos. The one about the man in the skirt is slightly disturbing due to his creep mouth, the term "heat rash", and the image of him sitting on his lawn mower with no panties on (thank you censor blur, thank you).

?

japanese bruce springsteen ftw!

six packs to french knacks

Between La Blogotheque & the timeless chronicling of street performers, the Take Away Shows profile an endless amount of vital artists churning out selected material. Their main focus is on the origin of songs, & their placement in everyday situations. From Scout Niblett & The Black Lips to Yeasayer and Carbiou, and even R.E.M., there is an unlimited supply of sweetness all over this place.


#55.1 takes on The Dirty Projectors, who have already established themselves as innovative & oddly infectious with Rise Above, their re-imagining of Black Flag's classic record Damaged. This lengthy, but totally intimate, performance of "Police Story" is the real deal. Their arrangements blow my mind with every listen &, if you have the time to spare, these two installments are a feast for the starving cerebrum!

#55.1 - The Dirty Projectors - pt. 1


#55.1 - The Dirty Projectors - pt. 2

Sexuality (or should we say sexualité)

Sebastian Tellier just released this video for his single "Divine" and it's off the wall intentionally weird. This is the first time I've heard of the artist, but apparently he's a huge popstar in France and has been topping the charts for a few years now. His new album (a concept album, I might add) is called Sexuality and it's produced by Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo of Daft Punk. Considering there's another song called "Sexual Sportswear", I'm kind of excited. It's ridiculousness packed into well-produced music. If this guy doesn't inspire a thousand fabulous Halloween costumes I don't know what will:

ian shwartz... again.

gone fishin'. they're claiming this is ian shwartz's 'scrap footage' for the new sunday! video, that video is going to be ridiculous. ian's signature sunday! 2nd wave is about to come out, i've wanted a t-1 barcode since i was 14 (i've been contemplating buying the garrett for the past few monthes) but i think i'm going to have buy a 2nd wave as my birthday present to myself.

united mega tour webvid on defgrip too.

deer tick - these old shoes

I've never even heard of filler.

For anyone that loves cheesy horror movies, Thor, or just super buff guys with huge hair and sparkly outfits, Rock and Roll Nightmare is a must. Especially the finale (or maybe only the finale, the movie's pretty bad). 

Things to note:
  - The one eyed, shouldered penises that come to back up the demon
  - At the 2:10 mark, Thor showing off his ability to look in a dictionary.
  - 4:07, thor has 3 sets of boobs
  - Skip to 4:40 to view his full costume
  - And if you're really in a hurry, just skip to 5:27 where things get pretty epic. Are they playing a Double Dare challenge game here?

el coolest bromea en la ciudad

From the youthful exuberance of Be Your Own Pet & The Sex comes JEFF. As a two-piece brotherhood, one being the founder of their Infinity Cat record label, they are wired for angular guitar insanity. To be honest, there is virtually no way to do their sound justice outside of this video. BEHOLD, the Tennessee underground!

JEFF - Nooo Sixties

Let's make vibrations in the plains

In keeping with the trend of overwhelming line-ups of artists (homegirl Caitlin's mention of Outiside Lands) Let's venture to the land of humid winds & overweight baseball fans. Sweet home (really!) Chicago is the place & Union Park is the space.

The Pitchfork Music Festival [July 18-20] is an unmissable experience to say the least. Each year I've been just keeps getting better. & With ticket prices that won't drain your finances [along with a forum that boasts DIY artist booths, a enormous poster art sale & delicious beer] you really can't go wrong.



Throw in the fact that Chuck D & Flava Flav are reuniting as Public Enemy and performing It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back in it's entirety, All Tomorrows Parties style, the odds of a kick-in-the-teeth good time are in your favor I'd say. Other party-starters that are sure to entice include: Animal Collective!!! is reason enough, No Age!! will pierce my cranium like a psychedelic glass of OJ, Dinosaur Jr., The Dirty Projectors, Spiritualized, Boris for christ sake!, M. Ward, the Fuck Buttons, Ghostface Killah & Raekwon, & Apples In Stereo...with way more TBA. Come live the mid-western dream. We'll eat deep dish pizza & Chicago-style hot dogs, and maybe even run into Oprah! What better way to spend your summer?



Here are some steller highlights from 2007's festivities:

Girl Talk - Summer's Smoke


GZA/Genius (Liquid Swords performance)

An ode to the internet. And pregnant men.

There are very, very few times when I'm upset about not having cable television in my house. Really, I'm not upset that I don't understand jokes referencing The Office and I couldn't care less about watching Americans make fools of themselves and their stylists on American Idol. Even fabulously produced HBO series about serial killers (Dexter) can't persuade me that it's worth it to own a TV hooked up to anything besides a VCR.

But today things have changed. The single most important TV show of my young life is airing today and I am missing it. (And also crossing my fingers for the miracle of yootoob to come through.) To put it simply: our favorite pregnant man, Thomas Beatie, is on Oprah today.



Pretty much every question you had about Mr. Mom will be answered on this show that I will be shamefully not watching. Thankfully, there's something better than cable television. It's called the internet and it's called liveblogging. My favorite blogger ever, who I once dreamed of being exactly like until I realized I simply was not as hilare, adorable, or Jewish as her, is live-blogging the whole show. It's pretty much hilarious, especially the Juno-esque screenshot and the homecoming court picture. If fascination gets the best of you, or you need a little humor in your life, or you like people that I like to pretend to be, I suggest you read a little of Michelle Collins' brilliance. You might even get hooked.

Go to Best Week Ever probably right exactly now if you're at all a decent human being.


UPDATE: Thank you internet. I got the first half and therefore can collect my own screencaps.


She's totally psyched. And probably belongs in a John Waters film.

Let the festivities begin.

Get it? Because the best music fest evvvvvvs is happening this summer. I can tell from the start that Outside Lands is going to be totally rocker from his skinny jeans and funky hair*. I'm desperate to go so I'll start saving all my pennies now if you join me. Highlights include Broken Social Scene, (who isn't my favorite band or anything so I'm not flipping out at all.), Andrew Bird, Radiohead, Devendra Banhart, Beck, and Regina Spektor. And these are highlights baby dolls, not everyone. Although I kind of feel like I would be an ungrateful child to not be happy with these way too solid acts. Click here for the full lineup.

Alright. Huddle yee readers. You start saving a little bit everyday now. Then come August 22-24 you drive me and accompany me to a few of my dreams come true. The excitement in my anime eyes will be worth it, I promise. Alright. BREAK!






*It was a poor reference to the teenagers. I'm sorry.

Hotel parking lot shooting

I ran out of good Animal Collective photographs so this old picture of mechanical/organic romance will have to do. Anyways the new Animal Collective EP Water Curses found its way onto the internet a few weeks ago. Like always their shit is worth its weight in gold so here is a 24-k nug of a song.

Water Curses - Animal Collective

The Justice + Diplo show last Thursday hit me like a pile of bricks made of snow filled with dead batteries. The show restored my faith in 1) live music and 2) the French. The best part about the show was that it was hosted by myspace. OMGZ I <3 MYSPACE!!!! Myspace is so much cooler than facebook or livejournal or blogger. yay. So here is a nice track by Midfield General that was produced by Justice. Let my just say that the name says it all.

Midfield General - Disco Sirens

There are a lot of awesome shows coming up, but the one I would a ticket too the most would be YELLE. If you dont know her watch this.

Another cardboard throwing frenzy

Recommended to me as a band comparable to Shapes & Sizes, The Born Ruffians are another "messy pop" band who I currently can't peel myself away from. Fun, upbeat, but a little bit crazy, The Born Ruffians promise to make late night decorating frenzies alive with even more colored paper than Shapes & Sizes offered up. Plus you'll be inclined to unfold your Indian crossed legs to get up and dance and stomp around your playful mess. Their first album Red, Yellow & Blue just came out and primary colors have never sounded so good.

Here's are some favorite tracks followed by a fittingly high speed music video for their single "Hummingbird".

"Hummingbird"
"Barnacle Goose"
"Little Garcon"



UPDATE: If my analogy weren't already perfect enough, turns out almost all their pictures on myspace are of construction paper cut outs and colorful lines of yarn.

Terrorbird means business..

Ahh The Mae-Shi. An explosion of unpredictable choral sweetness, right along-side drums of genuine chaos. Their new record HLLLYH was just released on the already legendary Moshi Moshi Records. They're painting the West Coast with rubix cube colors all through the spring. 4/22 @ 21 Grand in Oakland & then again on 4/27 at the Bottom Of The Hill. As it might be obvious by their video for "Run To Your Grave"(to all you tasteful readers of course) it might be a bad idea to just say "bah!" to this one.

You are number 6

So the new Girl Talk album leaked two days ago. The only catch is that it is not by Girl Talk. Pennsylvania based Speaky released his mixes under the name Girl Talk and that shit spread like vegemite on sourdough. Im sure Greg Gillis is not too thrilled, But this kid has some good stuff piled up in his dorm room.

Drop it - Speaky

And here is a little piece of candy for everyone:

Sexual Seduction - Hot Chip

rocket man.

for the few readers left who fancy little bikes

check out the new web vid from mutiny bmx over at defgrip (awesome bmx/design blog.) it knocked my socks off how well it was shot and how good the team is (definitely one of the more underrated groups of riders right now.) it was all shot in austin, tx around new years. waning: loading time is a bitch, but it's high quality (you can even watch it in hd here or download it for you apple tv! ya douche!)
...also, fit dropped shinin' this week.

p.s.
bought my justice/diplo ticket today, who's gonna drive me?

Schwarzenegger wasn't the only one.

(This has nothing to do with music and I don't care.)

Remember that movie Junior staring Vanny Deanito and Arnold Schwarzenegger where Arnie gets totally preggers? I somehow remember the posters very vividly even though I was only 6 when it came out (click here for a frightening refresher on the movie). Anyways, those of you fascinated by bad movies and weird science will love the fact that it has actually happened. That's right. Hairy bellies never looked so good.



Click here to meet the man behind the miracle, Thomas Beatie.

"Around the World in 60 Seconds" issue #4

Hello fantasy lovers,
got a big SPECIAL issue of Around the World in 60 Seconds...the 2008(or 2009) comic-to-film preview!!!
First up lets take care of the obvious, and movies you've probably already seen the trailer for:
IRON MAN: May 2, 2008 starring Robert Downey Jr. and directed by Jon Favreau (made, elf) the world of capitalist Tony Stark is underway. While this film will not be dealing with Tony Stark's massive drinking problem, I am ready to be bored with this film, and wait for the sequel so I can see Terrance Howard as War Machine!
DARK KNIGHT: July 18, 2008...I get chills of excitement when i watch this trailer...HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!

Now to some other very promising comic-to-film up-comers. Lets start with those that have trailers:
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army: July 11, 2008. Now for those of you who follow my blog posts you will know I will Hellboy and the Mike Mignola universe...so you know I am going to be super excited for this one:

The Incredible Hulk: June 13, 2008...While I do believe we can all agree and pretend the first HULK film does not exist, this film is a) NOT A SEQUAL and b) Screenplay written by Edward Norton (also starring Ed as Bruce Banner!!!):

and lastly (well I could name several more...) I will leave you with this link, for what I believe will be one of the coolest comic-to-film transfers. And when I say coolest, it will be awesome and better then DareDevil...

http://imdb.com/title/tt0458525/

Issue #5 preview: DMZ TPB #4, Ex Machina, and more...

for all your comic, fantasy, and nerd needs go down to Comicopolis located downtown on Front Street!!! yay for team J-Roy!

you are the last dragon

magic spells off of the new crystal castles album. came out yesterday.

In retrospect

I still have no idea why Shapes & Sizes didn't take the blogworld by storm last year.

Alone/Alive
Head Movin'

These first two songs are simply fantastic, with what I describe as "messy": a catchy riff paired with some drums that go so wild you're left doing a simply uncomprehensible dance. It feels, well, really really good. It's like staying up too late making construction paper cutouts and then at 3am having all of the scraps of paper surrounding you jump up and fly in a messy messy circle all around you. Like Matilda, except things collide.

I actually don't know if it's like that for anyone else, but it is for me, and that's why I love it. Do me a favor and let me know that they are, in fact, fantastic and that I don't actually have bad taste.

Check out Shapes and Sizes' myspace here. Also, both these songs are off their sophomore album Split Lips, Winning Hips, a Shiner

bug fighting = creeps me out!

...it's all about cat weight lifting.

flight of the non-music-related you tube video!

what lifts my spirits when faced with far too many essays to write:

" you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons.."


"DING! DING!"


& of course..

"Around The World In 60 Seconds" Issue #3

WOW! And welcome back to another issue of 'Around The World In 60 Seconds". Well it was a giant week for comic releases and comics I have read. First off, and I'll try to make this quick, last week I read Mark Millar's "WANTED". With an introduction from Brian K. Vaughn (LOST, Runaways, Ex Machina, Y The Last Man) that allows the read to ache to get to the last page, no one is disappointed. I loved this from start to finish, and like the words of B.K.V. the last pages alone will make everything worth it. Mark Millar is the writer of other such amazing comics: "Wolverine: Enemy of the State", Marvel Civil War, House of M, and many others (which if you've read know he is a very smart and face paced writer. Secondly continuing my love for Abe Sapien, this week the second installment to his solo 5-part comic series came out (See Around the World issue #1) and Mike Mignola is still doing a wonderful job at giving this amazing character more space and depth.
And finally....to the juice. This week (well yesterday, 3/11) Robert Kirkham dropped Walking Dead issue #47 titled "Mother and Child". While for those of you who refuse to be angered with waiting for ten page single issue to come out every other month I will not ruin the current standing of the Walking Dead cast, but OH MY GOD!!! I really, as the dedicated W.D. reader know exactly what Kirkham when he started this story arch called: NO ONE IS SAFE!
Okay, well thats all I've go to say for this week, but I can garantee you will see a post shortly about the release (3/11/08) of Brian Wood's DMZ trade paper back #4. I just wish I didn't have any more finals or papers to write...I JUST WANT TO READ MY DAMN COMICS!

p.s. they are coming out with a "WANTED" movie starting James Mcavoy and Jolie, and after I looked into it, the film has almost nothing to do with the comic.

Next Issue: DMZ #4, a preview to your favorite comics and their upcoming films!

i was going to post about sharks and seals

...but then i got lazy.

I can has power pop?

If you think that TacocaT is palindrome them im sure that you will enjoy this little Seattle-based LOL CATZ power pop band. Ok, their music has nothing to do with catz, but this song almost made me crap.

Bike Party - TacocaT

myspace.com/tacocattacocattacocat with a URL like that how can you not love them?

awareness test.

http://www.dothetest.co.uk/

bonus mp3:
MIA - paper planes (holy fuck remix)

Don't stop til you get enough

The truth is I really can't get enough. I know this band is old news and Caitlin blogged about them ages ago but they are really, really good. The full length is coming out a week from today, they are no longer touring due to a misselaneous "injury" and they really make you want to play kung-fu or super mario bros 2. Please download, please listen and please enjoy.

Untrust Us- Crystal Castles
Love and Caring - Crystal Castles

six days at the bottom of the ocean, one on the shoreline

The time that I've gone without declaring the illuminating goodness of Beach House is inexcusable. It's clear to me that nearly everyone & their mother may already be aware of how essential their music is, but SCREW IT! Devotion has become quite possibly my favorite record of the year, thus far. Suppose clouds were composed of sound waves with chandeliers hanging overhead, carrying you on a retrospective glimpse of a longterm relationship expressed through abstract stories & visions of unknown faraway lands. That's Beach House. This Saturday they'll be at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco & I think I might buy something nice for a co-worker in order to get my shift covered that night. oh damn.

Something that is for sure is Explosions In The Sky next Wednesday in Santa Cruz with Dan-O & a plethora of killer clowns of the Del Mar/Nickelodeon persuasion. I may fall into a deep sleep from their orchestrated assault but it will surely be amazing regardless. & really when is the last time you heard me use that word?



Sweet sweet layers of feedback >>
- Live @ The Starlight Ballroom
- Live @ The Parish in Austin, Tx

Black Metal Cookies

I tend to fall in love with women who are idyllic housewives in an altered form. Girls covered in paint who bake delicious pies. Girls who sew halloween costumes like no ones business and then bring you hot tea and blankets. Needless to say, I'm kind of in love with this black metal girl who paints awesome pictures, never stops smiling, and now has a baking blog. Her name? Megan. Her profession? Awesome.*

"Boiled down to its very essence, metal is nothing more than a mixture of molasses and alienation. By that definition, these cookies are black fucking metal. Packed full of grim and evil spices, they will leave you feeling despondent and isolated within their stronghold of flavor. "

If you're not intrigued, you're probably suffering from a severe form of boring personality. If you are intrigued, head over to The Black Oven immediately. And get baking this week!


*We're all aloud cheesy formulaic lines every now and then, right?

I want to post this song for you

It has been out for awhile but I thought I might as well just do it.

Walk Around - Animal Collective

the guitar and the steer

This past Wednesday I found myself jumping for opposing forces of joy. My good friend Mia supplied me with a ticket to see the SOLD OUT surprisingly intimate sit-down Magnetic Fields show @ the Hearst Theater in San Francisco, as a part of their legendary reuniting. Their proverbial pop make up the most witty love songs, full of fuzz and heartbreaking noise, to come out of the 80's/90's, hands down. After a pint, or two (I chose beer in the midst of flossed out bohemian wineos), I was lead to my seat by a whispering tuxedo-ed usher & even picked up a couple damn fine exclusive screen prints. It was an awkwardly hilarious, precise and extremely unplugged. Each & every song was like a piece of Stephen Merritt's country heart being thrown to the stage floor, by way of ukulele of course.



Here is a pretty damn clear indication of how far their inspiration reaches:

The Arcade Fire - Born On A Train (live)

i can see colors

Concert alert!

There are a whole bunch of shows coming up in the next few months that I would like to share with you. First off I already got my ticket to see Justice and Diplo at the end of this month. Dance party? yes.

Justice - D.A.N.C.E. (diplo remix)

This weekend in San Francity there will be two really awesome shows. First off Crystal Castles and HEALTH will be playing at the independant while Mt. Eerie is playing at the Enola Maxwell High School Auditorium. I would personally go with Mt. Eerie but I'm sick in bed so I really don't have any say.

Crystal Castles vs HEALTH - Crimewave
(the Moools cover) - Mt. Eerie

Vampire Weekend and Yacht are also playing later this month but I heard that the show has already sold out. Thats about it for March. Hot Chip is playing at the end of April and Beirut is on Daniel's birthday in May. Hopefully people start coming down to Santa Cruz to say hello.